Porthos

Porthos is a militant activist poet, or so he thinks. He's got the militant part down, but he's only marginally classifiable as a poet. He quotes Baudelaire inaccurately and writes long, florid poetry about darkness and angst and lederhosen, making people call him "Pathos" behind his back.

He has some serious height issues, but he's trying to work them out via an ongoing project- an epic poem entitled "My Despair."

Porthos takes himself much, much too seriously, and Pell Mell takes great delight in stealing his beret, playing 'Keep Away' with the bartender at the meadow, and giving Porthos noogies.